i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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