I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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