is your mom at the bar?
it hurts more in the daytime
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
