He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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