i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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