i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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