idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
