The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
