I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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