I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
