I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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