I cut my penus on the lid.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
