420 ftw
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
