An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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