dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
