Little spoons don't ask big questions
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
is it fun? or sober?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
