I looked at my own cervix.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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