We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wear drunk well.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
