He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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