Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
