I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
