Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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