Don't you send me to vm
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
