oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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