sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
