So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
