I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize