Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
