Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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