I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
