you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
