Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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