Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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