DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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