Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
