I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
