Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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