Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
