I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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