if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
