It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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