thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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