So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Two words: nipple clamps
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