I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
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Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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