Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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