I don't think brook has ever known best
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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