FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
True strength comes from lack of pants
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
