It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
