I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
40s are totally the cure
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
