Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
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I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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