The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
