I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
