I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
