1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
