i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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