That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
