i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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