I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
