i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
