It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
