I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
