well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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