I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
