my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have fence marks all over my body
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
